What matters most

I was REALLY excited to serve someone recently.

I’ve been trying to serve others more often, so the opportunity popped up and I quickly volunteered!

…And it ended up being super awkward with lots of miscommunication and clearly mismatched expectations.

I felt weird about it afterwards.

I had been so eager to serve, but the service had not turned out the way I had expected, and I didn’t feel it was appreciated.

I pondered on this for a while, because it really was disappointing for me.

And then the phrase came to my mind: “What matters most is what was in your heart.”

Had I wanted to serve? Did I show enthusiasm for service? Did I feel love for this individual?

Those were my desires.

And even though they got translated pretty weirdly, my desires were still good.

It’s a messy area to think about because people with good intentions make some pretty poor and sometimes even harmful choices all the time.

But I’ve been taught over and over that the Lord teaches me to love others, and to just do my best because He looks upon the heart.

The interesting part of this to me though, is that the flip side is also true.

I could perform the perfect act of service, but have a jealous, frustrated, angry heart.

All of a sudden, my desires would change to: “I just want to get this off my to-do list. She said she needs help, but I think she’s fine, so this is a waste of time. I’d rather be doing anything else right now.”

In a very dramatic example of this, the Lord taught in D&C 63:16 that if a man looketh upon a woman to lust after her and commits adultery IN THEIR HEART, then they lose the spirit’s presence.

No adulterous actions were taken, but the intent and desire was there. And the Lord looks on what’s in our heart.

What matters most is our desire.

Of course, doing good actions can often start to mold our desires to become even better, like begrudgingly showing up to do service and leaving with a softened heart.

My actions matter. 100%. I’m constantly trying to make sure that I am actually DOING good things.

But for the days where I’m trying, but feeling like I am just falling short over and over again, it’s good to have that reminder.

That at the end of the day, for better or for worse…

What matters most is what’s in our heart.

Happy Studying!

-Cali Black