When our first daughter was born, people in my ward volunteered to bring us dinners for a few nights.
A couple people brought delicious homemade dinners that we were so grateful for.
But my visiting teacher texted me and said:
“Hey, cooking isn’t really my thing. But I’m gonna grab Cafe Rio for you guys! Text me what you and Kyle want and I’ll bring it by at 5!”
This blew my mind!
Because cooking really isn’t my thing either.
But I had used this as an excuse to not volunteer to bring people dinner.
Instead, she still volunteered. And then made it work within what she was comfortable with.
Her example has stuck with me.
There is SO much power in volunteering to help and serve.
Isaiah is a great example of this – always willing to serve and sacrifice in the ways the Lord asked him to.
“Here am I; send me.” (2 Nephi 16:8)
But isn’t it easy to NOT volunteer?
Because we aren’t TECHNICALLY saying, “no”. We just aren’t the one who is saying, “yes”.
Cooking isn’t my thing. I’m not great at watching kids. I can’t even clean my own house! I’ve got too many things going on with my family.
We say these excuses and then miss out on rich opportunities to serve and connect with others. We hold back on giving them blessings, and in return, we miss out on blessings of serving. We miss out on love.
Instead, my visiting teacher taught me that I can still acknowledge my preferences and weaknesses…
… but then I can come up with a creative way to still make it work.
I don’t like cooking… but I’ll buy you dinner.
I don’t enjoy cleaning… but I’ll watch your kids so you can have some peace.
I’m really busy with my family… but I’m going to bring my whole family to help you so that we can all still spend time together.
It’s so important to know how to say “no” when we need to, but are we getting a little too comfortable with avoiding saying “yes”?
Here am I! Send me.
Happy Studying!
-Cali Black
4 Responses
Thank you for this!! I’ve been avoiding bringing dinners for YEARS for this reason. Thanks for giving me a different perspective…and a really good idea!!
Happy to help 😉
I appreciate this insight. It’s really caused me to reflect since I read it.
Here are some of my thoughts:
If someone from church asks for help v. someone outside of church asks for help, do I “owe” more to the church member because he/she is a church member?
Just because someone asks for help, should I give it? In your example, how much food does someone really need at the birth of a new child, and does it always really help? Perhaps something else might be more helpful, such as providing child care to other children, or cleaning their home or doing the dishes?
How do I determine if someone asking for help really needs help? Is that important? Is that something I should do?
It’s clear in scripture that the Savior doesn’t appear to have answered every plea for help, nor did He give to others what they asked of Him. How did He do it?
I think it’s always a great idea to ask someone you are inspired to serve what they really need, and then make a plan from there. Other times, a spontaneous act for someone might be exactly what they need but didn’t realize. If we try to follow the promptings of the Spirit, we will be guided on how to best serve those around us. <3