I thought I had the full-time teaching job in the bag.
I had been the long-term sub for 6 weeks, and all the other teachers were telling me admin would be silly to not just hire me, plus I was starting to click with my students.
The principal called me in for a meeting, where I was SURE that the full-time position would be offered to me, a new BYU grad.
Instead… she told me that someone else had been hired before I had started subbing, they just couldn’t start until January.
I had been the place-holder. And I didn’t even know it.
I was crushed.
Why?! This would have been PERFECT!
And then I was frantic.
I applied for jobs like crazy because we needed the income.
Within a few days, I had been offered my first full-time teaching position at a school that would be my home for the next 4 years.
I would make lifelong friends and meet students who would change my life.
Luckily, my period of “not knowing” lasted only a few weeks – from finding out I didn’t have the first job to discovering I felt “at home” at the new one.
There are many other times when I’ve had to wait a lot longer in that “not knowing” phase.
A lot longer.
Nephi was an older man living in the promised land when he started to write a complete record of his people.
And then, he received direction from the Lord that he should write another account of the same exact time period, but instead focus on spiritual matters.
His response?
“Wherefore, the Lord hath commanded me to make these plates for a wise purpose in him, which purpose I know not.” (1 Nephi 9:5)
Have you ever considered that Nephi died without ever knowing why he was writing these second plates?
That’s a long time to dwell in “not knowing” limbo.
It’s always inspirational to tell our stories where “not knowing” turned into “perfect timing” after some hindsight.
But sometimes, we are asked to just stay in “not knowing”.
Maybe even for the rest of our lives.
But Nephi teaches us through his example that the way to survive our “not knowing” is trust with all our hearts that God has a wider purpose than we could ever imagine.
Happy Studying!
-Cali Black
