Toxic positivity 

I’ve been seeing A LOT of people talking online recently about the dangers of toxic positivity. ⁣

And I love it. ⁣

In case you aren’t familiar, “toxic positivity” is when people respond to other people’s trials or suffering with unhelpful statements like:⁣

“Just think positive! It’ll all be fine!”⁣

“So many people are worse off than you. You’ll be okay!”⁣

“Life is easier when you just stay happy all the time!”⁣

In other words, telling someone to “stay positive” while invalidating or ignoring the tough parts of life. ⁣

I totally used to be a “toxic positivity” person with fantastic motivations who just wanted everyone to be happy. ⁣

And then I learned after going through my own trials that all I really wanted was people who would listen to me and mourn with me and comfort me in real, connecting ways. ⁣

Because, life is not always happy. ⁣

I think of prophets in every book of scripture, feeling great anxiety and sadness. ⁣

I think of our Savior who stopped to help and comfort and mourn. He wept out of compassion, even when He knew things were about to get a whole lot better. ⁣

So when the Lord teaches us in D&C 29:5 to:⁣

“Lift up your hearts and be glad”,⁣

… how are we supposed to pull that off in an authentic way?⁣

When life is sad and unfair and heartbreaking, how do we feel true gladness without forcing ourselves to just “be positive”?⁣

I don’t know that I have the perfect answer, but I do have one. ⁣

I can think about my Savior. ⁣

I can think about my Savior and what He has done for me, personally. His sacrifice, His love, His atonement, His death, and His resurrection. ⁣

And when I focus on the hope and peace that He gives to me, I feel gladness AND sadness. ⁣

He doesn’t take away all the hurt (most of the time).⁣

But He gives me strength to bear it and the peace to not feel quite as worried. ⁣

No forced positivity. No brushing aside. ⁣

But instead, realizing that I can feel both. ⁣

I can feel whatever emotions I need to feel as I go through something tough. ⁣

AND I can lift up my heart and be glad for what my Savior has done and will do for me.

Happy Studying!

-Cali Black