Forgiveness can be so difficult to navigate.
Because the adversary wants us to believe that if we forgive someone, we have said that what they did was okay, and that we are releasing them from all their consequences.
But that is just not true.
Long after Joseph’s brothers threw him in a pit and sold him as a slave, they were almost shocked to discover that Joseph had forgiven them.
Even YEARS later, after their father Jacob died, the brothers were afraid that Joseph had just been putting on an act for their dad.
And that now he would retaliate.
Because who would actually forgive their brothers for doing something like they had done?
But Joseph dismissed their groveling after their father had died and said:
“Now therefore fear ye not: I will nourish you, and your little ones. And he comforted them, and spake kindly unto them.”
Can you imagine forgiving family members for saying terrible things about you, physically harming you, devaluing you, and literally removing you from the family for 22 years?
And yet, Joseph forgave.
That didn’t change how wrong the brothers had been.
And it didn’t affect any divine consequences that our perfect Judge would dole out.
But it gave Joseph joy and peace.
We don’t know how much Joseph interacted with his brothers after they all moved to Egypt.
Maybe Joseph had strong boundaries with certain brothers, and kept a respectful distance.
Maybe Joseph felt prompted to fully embrace them and let them into his life.
But his words at the end of Genesis tell us that he was ready to comfort and nourish them as needed.
The adversary is so good at feeding us lies about forgiving those who have wronged us, even in very serious degrees.
But the Savior commands us all to forgive.
Why? To find that internal peace, and truly turn it all over to God!
Have you seen blessings from forgiveness in your life? If you feel comfortable, I’d love to hear them <3
Happy Studying!
-Cali Black
2 Responses
I was married young to a friend of my brothers from his mission. It was a whirlwind courtship and engagement. My rose colored glasses were thick and despite some warning signs we got married in the temple.
We had 3 kids in 3-1/2 years together and we struggled in a lot of ways, but I thought it was just normal stuff and was dedicated to getting through it. Nine months after our 3rd was born, he told me he didn’t love me anymore and that he had found someone new. I tried everything to try and save our marriage, only to realize I couldn’t make him try.
As I attended the temple and tried my best to keep the commandments, the Lord blessed me with comfort to move on with my life and we got divorced a year later.
I met and married a man who loves me and I love equally. But to be honest even after I found and married the love of my life, I still felt anger and resentment towards my ex husband.
Our youngest son started really struggling and it got so bad I didn’t know how to handle it on my own. The spirit started nudging me to talk to his dad, but I didn’t want help from him because I had been left to parent by myself by him. We didn’t live in the same state and he rarely contacted the kids. But I still felt a nudge. And I was given a spiritual insight that helped me overcome my feelings.. I imagined going to heaven(and the temple) and having him and his wife there and I wondered if I would choose to not be there because of my unforgiving attitude. And I decided in my heart that I couldn’t jeopardize my eternal life for my anger and hurt.
I finally broke down and realized I needed his help and we needed to work together to help our son. He was part of them and so I reached out. We talked over the phone for an hour and he acknowledged the hurt he caused and I even said sorry for doing things that may have pushed him away from the gospel!! I shocked myself, but we even shed tears on the phone.
It was an amazing experience! I felt that I could finally move forward and honestly felt free and even a sense of gratitude. I often feel gratitude towards him now for all that I’ve learned, who I’ve become, that I can help others through trials and for the relationship I have with him where we can talk and help our children (we’ve been able to talk when we need to help them).
It took me 7 years to truly forgive him, but I finally feel free from that burden. I’d thought I’d forgiven him before, but it hadn’t been deep and lasting. It’s strange to feel so much gratitude for him and honestly that I found the husband I have now because of it all (we were both married previously), but the Lord has a plan and has tails so much through all of this. I have so much more empathy in life than I did, I’m less judgmental and can connect with many people because of that and feel compassion for others. The Lord taught me how to forgive and I’ve been able to really put it in his hands.
That is an amazing story of forgiveness! Thank you for sharing!