One of my biggest “church” questions while growing up was trying to figure out what Christ’s atonement actually was.
I felt like I only learned about the Savior’s atoning sacrifice in vague terms, and so I wanted to get to the bottom of what was going on.
Every General Conference, that would be the “question” in my mind.
Anytime someone started talking about “the atonement”, my ears would perk up.
I love learning about logical explanations.
I wanted to know what actually happened!
What did Jesus do?
How did He do it?
But I never really got the answer that I was wanting.
I never got a confident logical description.
Instead, I gradually realized that my head was never going to wrap my mind around what happened that night in Gethsemane and later on the cross.
It was a big shift in my mind that happened very slowly.
Over the years, I ended up gaining a strong testimony of the Savior’s atoning sacrifice.
But it was by using my heart to focus on how I felt about it and what it meant to me.
“Apply thine heart to understanding”. (Proverbs 2:2)
I shifted from wanting to know, to trusting what my heart taught me.
I changed from pridefully insisting I could completely understand, to humbly acknowledging that I don’t need to.
I’ve realized that my brain isn’t the only thing that can learn new answers.
I’ve got to trust my heart, too.
It’s a pattern that’s helped me navigate spiritual questions time and time again.
And I’ve started learning from what I feel in my heart just as much as what I know in my mind.
I’ve applied my heart to my understanding.
Happy Studying!
-Cali Black
