I thought I had the full-time teaching job in the bag.
I had been the long-term sub for 6 weeks, all the other teachers were telling me admin would be silly to not just hire me on, and I was starting to really click with my students.
The principal called me in for a meeting, where I was SURE that the full-time position would be offered to me, as a brand new BYU grad.
Instead, she told me that someone else had been hired before I had even started subbing, they just couldn’t start until January. I had been the place-holder.
I was crushed. Why?! This would have been PERFECT!
And then I was frantic.
I applied for jobs like crazy because I knew a lot of positions open up at the end of December.
Within a few days, I had been offered my first full-time teaching position at a school that would be my home for the next 4 years. I would make lifelong friends and meet students who would change my life.
Luckily, my period of “not knowing” lasted only a few weeks – from finding out I didn’t have the first job to discovering I felt “at home” at the new one.
There are many other times when I’ve had to wait a lot longer in that “not knowing” phase. A lot longer.
Nephi was an older man, living in the promised land, when he started to write a complete record of his people.
And then, he received direction from the Lord that he should write another account of the same exact time period, but instead focus on spiritual matters.
His response?
I know that God knows more than I do, and that He has a wise purpose for me doing all of this extra work that doesn’t seem logical.
Have you ever considered that Nephi died without ever knowing why he was writing these second plates?
That’s a long time to dwell in “not knowing” limbo.
It’s always fun and inspirational to tell our stories where “not knowing” turned into “perfect timing” after some hindsight.
But sometimes, we are asked to just stay in “not knowing”. Maybe even for the rest of our lives. This is really hard.
Luckily, Nephi teaches us a beautiful, simple, but faith-filled lesson through his example:
The way to happily survive “not knowing” is to “know” that God has a wiser purpose than we could ever imagine.
Happy Studying!
-Cali Black
