When I was dating my future husband, I had an important conversation with my mom where she gave me one piece of advice:
“Make sure you see Kyle get super stressed or angry about something.
“See how he responds to that pressure, and then make sure you are okay with his response.”
It was great advice, because admittedly, we had been kind of living a fairytale dating experience.
Yeah, we had seen each other deal with minor stresses, but we hadn’t seen how each of us responded to really big pressures yet.
But finally, the opportunity presented itself.
(Kyle— I’m so sorry if I unknowingly wished the big trial into existence for my own selfish purposes.)
I saw how Kyle dealt with a huge, frustrating setback, one that took a hit on his ego.
And… I was totally cool with how he responded.
I saw how he worked through problems, how he handled big emotions, and how I could support him through tough times.
It was a great little confirmation that he would make a great choice for me as a spouse.
And I’m still happy with my decision all these years later!
When we read about Joseph’s reaction to seeing all of his brothers again after all these years, it can be difficult to figure out why he does what he does:
He accuses them of being spies, imprisons one brother, frames another, makes dramatic demands, and doesn’t want to give away who he truly is.
But to me, it looks like Joseph is just trying to see who his brothers really are after all these years.
Did they care at all about what they had done to Joseph? Had they repented? Did they love Benjamin? How were they treating his father?
A great way to find out someone’s character is to see how they respond to stress or pressure.
Because… isn’t that what God basically does to us?
He lovingly and all-knowingly gives us, or allows us to experience, tough times and trials and weaknesses and pains so that we can prove to Him, and to ourselves, what truly matters most to our hearts.
Who do we choose, ESPECIALLY when times are tough?
Happy Studying!
-Cali Black
