I said something mean to my best friend when I was in 4th grade.
My friend stopped talking to me.
She hung out with new people at lunch and recess for a few days.
For a kid in elementary school, this was a big deal.
I felt really badly about what I had done, but I also didn’t know what to do about it.
Well, my mom found out what happened.
We talked about how I hadn’t been kind.
My mom made me write an apology letter, and we walked over to this friend’s house with my letter and a treat in my hand.
While I waited for my friend to answer the door, I realized how awkward this was going to be.
I felt this pressure in my chest.
What was my mom making me do?!
My friend answered the door.
I handed her the letter and treat, said that I was sorry, and then my mom and I walked back home.
I felt better.
I mean, yeah, it had been pretty awkward, but it felt really good to finally confront the problem instead of running away from it.
That was distinctly the first time I remember the freeing power of repentance.
After my sin, I had felt that weight of guilt.
And that guilt was amplified by a million when my mom made me actually face my friend and apologize.
It felt uncomfortable to face someone and admit that I was wrong.
But that freeing feeling afterwards?!
THAT was worth it.
And I’ve felt that over and over again as I’ve matured and worked through my relationship with my Savior.
That weight of guilt when I sin is so heavy.
And I know that it’s going to get even heavier when I go to repent. The pressure gets even higher because I’m actually facing what I did wrong.
But once I face that pressure, and give my soul over to my Savior, I feel that relief.
And I’ve learned turning to the Savior is really an essential step of the forgiveness process that changes my heart in permanent ways.
“My soul hath been redeemed from the gall of bitterness and bonds of iniquity. I was in the darkest abyss; but now I behold the marvelous light of God. My soul was racked with eternal torment; but I am snatched, and my soul is pained no more.” (Mosiah 27:29)
No matter the size of the sin, that weight can be gone.
Happy Studying!
-Cali Black
