Serving from lack

Oh great, I thought. This was another Relief Society lesson about ministering.

I had recently moved into the ward.

My house was still being slowly organized.

I was pretty sick and tired from pregnancy.

There was just a lot going on.

So, no thank you. I couldn’t handle my own life at the moment, which meant visiting my assigned sisters was not going to happen.

And then my new companion cornered me, and I quickly found myself agreeing to dates and times to go minister.

I picked up some cookies on the day we had planned, and met her at a house. We were invited inside.

And the conversation and company that flowed for the next unexpected two hours was so refreshing.

I found connection, I felt sympathy, I laughed, I shed a few tears, I served.

I’ve realized I’m really good at giving this excuse in a lot of areas in my life.

“Oh no, I can’t handle the simple day-to-day stuff right now, so I can’t take on anything else.”

But time and time again, I’ve learned that when I try to give and serve in times that I lack, it is enough.

The amazing Kirtland saints didn’t wait until their back accounts felt a litttttle more comfortable and all their debts were paid off before they donated their money.

“Out of our poverty we have given of our substance”. D&C 109:5

They had nothing. And they still gave.

And with what they gave, they built the first holy temple to the Lord in this dispensation.

When I don’t think I have enough time to serve, but I do it anyways, I am always proven wrong.

Because… I’m always going to lack.

At least, it seems highly unlikely that at some point in my life I’ll be like, “Yeah, I’m totally comfortable now. I have nothing else to worry about and so NOW I’d like to serve others.”

We are asked to serve from our own lack.

Of course, paying attention to when the line has crossed into unhealthy service. It’s okay to say no.

But I’ve come to learn that for the most part, I’m never going to feel like I’m “ready enough” to serve more or sacrifice more.

And yet, even in my complete and utter lack, the Lord can take what little I’m offering and transform it into a mighty miracle.

Happy Studying!

-Cali Black