Shame or warning?

I feel like as a society in general, and specifically in the church, we have gotten better recently at understanding SHAME.

What it is, and why it’s so detrimental.

Shame = you are bad because you did something wrong. ⁣

It’s not super helpful to feel SHAME.

And we really should aim to never be the cause of anyone else feeling shame.

“I am a bad person because I did something wrong.”

“Only bad people do things like that.”⁣

Do we feel SHAME when we make poor decisions or don’t do good things?

Do we automatically go to: “I am bad”?⁣

Do we knowingly or unknowingly SHAME those around us when we see them making poor decisions?

Calling a child “bad”, telling a teenager they are ruined because of a poor choice, telling a young woman she is bad for wearing certain clothing, showing less love to others when they make certain decisions. ⁣

Well that’s exactly what Paul said he was NOT doing!

He was trying to correct some pretty serious sins that these Corinthians were committing.

But he makes it clear that he is NOT shaming them. ⁣

“I write not these things to shame you, but as my beloved sons I warn you.” (1 Corinthians 4:14)

He is WARNING them.

Teaching them. Rebuking them. ⁣

What’s the difference?⁣

Love. Forgiveness. Direction on how to correct. More love. Pointing to the Savior. Building up true worth. ⁣

We do believe that there are “rights” and “wrongs”.

Which means, there are “wrongs” that we need to correct in our own actions, and in the actions of those we have stewardship over. ⁣

But warnings to others and commitments to do better ourselves should always be framed with our Savior in mind. ⁣

We are not bad people.

We are loved beyond belief. We have infinite worth. We are spiritual sons and daughters of God the Father. ⁣

We make bad decisions. But we can correct ourselves and repent. And we will make bad decisions again. And we can correct ourselves and repent again. ⁣

That’s the whole purpose of this gospel! ⁣

Continuous change. ⁣

Not through shaming ourselves or others.

But through kind and loving warnings and corrections.

Happy Studying!

-Cali Black