Which means our levels of “forgiveness” and “patience” are probably a little lower than usual. ⁣

So looking at this list about “successful marriages and families” just stressed me out at first.

“Successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreational activities.” – The Family: A Proclamation to the World ⁣

But families are the best place to see each other’s weaknesses and strengths, right?⁣

We see our kids’ best qualities and their absolute worst moments. ⁣

We see our spouse at their absolute best and their weakest. ⁣

And we show our most awesome versions of ourselves, and we make our biggest mistakes. ⁣

Which means that together as a family unit, we are gonna have times when we are totally on it, and other times when we have completely fallen off the wagon. ⁣

Like, way off the wagon. ⁣

Here’s what I’m doing this week, and I encourage you to join me. ⁣

When looking at that statement from the Proclamation, what is the ONE thing that stands out the most to you as an area your family is doing pretty well?⁣

Give yourself credit for the good things I know you are doing. ⁣

And what is the ONE thing that stands out to you as the area your family can work on improving right now?⁣

You could even ask your kids what they think, too.

Maybe you want to get back into the habit of praying with your spouse. ⁣

Maybe you want to get your family involved in working together more. ⁣

Maybe you need to stop all the to-do lists and just have more fun together. ⁣

Maybe you need to repent from a bad habit all your family members know about, and so you decide to talk to your family about how you are trying to change and want their support. ⁣

Getting overwhelmed with everything your family is “failing” at is about as helpful as getting overwhelmed with all of your weaknesses at the same time. ⁣

One step at a time is the best way to walk.

“Every effort to change we make—no matter how tiny it seems to us—just might make the biggest difference in our lives.” – Michael A. Dunn

Happy Studying!

-Cali Black

The post Too much to fix  first appeared on Come Follow Me Study with Cali Black.

Listen to your first thought or prompting, and act on it right away. ⁣

I have been working on that as much as I can these past few weeks, and some days are better than others, but I’ve had some pretty cool experiences. ⁣

It was exactly the advice that I needed to gain a little more clarity in my life, and invite even more spiritual promptings to come. ⁣

“What lack I yet” is a question I ask pretty often in prayer, and it’s a principle I even use to guide my scripture study and look for personal applications. ⁣

The reason I love asking this question so much is because it keeps me focused on improvement. ⁣

I’ve found that the Spirit is always eager to bring my attention to one area I can focus on in particular. ⁣

Instead of being overwhelmed by everything that I lack, I can be shown what one thing would get me started in the right direction. ⁣

When I was reading about the Lord’s comments about Sidney Rigdon this week, I was really intrigued by this connection:⁣

“I, the Lord, am not pleased with my servant Sidney Rigdon; he exalted himself in his heart, and received not counsel”. D&C 63:55⁣

Sidney was exalting himself in his heart, which is definitely a problem. ⁣

But what an interesting side effect, right?!⁣

Because of this pride, he didn’t receive counsel!⁣

He wasn’t asking “what lack I yet?”— he was thinking something like, “I’ve got it all figured out. I’m good enough.”⁣

Pride is so sneaky. ⁣

The adversary wants us to stay as we are, and reject any advice that’s given to us, whether through prayer or through other kind loved ones. ⁣

And yet our Savior invites us to change. His atoning sacrifice is the reason we CAN change. ⁣

But we don’t have to tackle this impossible task of “becoming Christlike” all on our own. ⁣

The Spirit can whisper to us exactly what the next step is.

Being so gentle and kind in giving us just what we can handle next.

Happy Studying!

-Cali Black

The post “What lack I yet?” first appeared on Come Follow Me Study with Cali Black.

I loved watching her try to follow what her dance teacher did each class.

Even during their dance recital at the end of the year, her teacher was off to the side of the stage doing all the moves so that the kids could copy her.

Over the next few years, watching things “click” for her was so fun.

She was so excited to attend class each week.

She learned trickier and trickier dance moves.

She started to memorize entire dances with ease.

I wasn’t necessarily shocked and amazed at what she was doing from week to week…

But when I stepped back and looked at how she improved over the course of a few years, the growth was dramatic!

The Lord taught:

“He that receiveth light, and continueth in God, receiveth more light; and that light groweth brighter and brighter until the perfect day.” (D&C 50:24)

At the beginning of our spiritual journey, we have light – but only a little.

We mostly just follow the examples we see around us.

As we excitedly “show up” week after week in our gospel study and practice, we gather and receive more and more light.

It can be hard to see improvement when we look at our limited perspective.

But when we take a step back, we can see the light of Jesus Christ growing brighter and brighter in our lives every day.

And today, all it takes is doing something small to receive more spiritual light.

How will you add more light to your life today?

Happy Studying!

-Cali Black

The post Just add light first appeared on Come Follow Me Study with Cali Black.

Growing up, we are taught about the right thing to do and the wrong thing to do. ⁣

That’s what I’m teaching my little kids right now. ⁣

But somewhere along the way, I realized life is a whole lot messier than that. ⁣

There really is a spectrum of how we choose to respond to different situations.

Whether or not we serve others, worship in the temple, or choose to be a good spouse are complicated concepts that depend on lots of little choices.

Like… there are a lot of options for every single little thing. ⁣

In D&C 29:35, the Lord teaches: ⁣

“Behold, I gave unto him that he should be an agent unto himself” (meaning Adam).⁣

Agency is the power that we have to become whoever we want to be. ⁣

In the million degrees of every aspect of life, we get to choose and work toward where we want to be. ⁣

How service-oriented, how kind, how educated, how devoted to a calling, how temple-loving, how patient…⁣

We get to choose. ⁣

Not so much in a “big picture” kind of way (because I would totally choose to be awesome at every single one of those and more!)⁣

But in the day-to-day interactions. ⁣

How much am I going to push, to get outside my comfort zone, to decide to become a little bit better person instead of staying as who I am?⁣

That’s the real test of agency. ⁣

I can only imagine our Heavenly Parents watching us and seeing opportunity after opportunity pass by, and then cheering when we decide to move a step forward that day. ⁣

We aren’t going to reach the “best” in every area⁣.

But we can decide to use our agency to move that needle forward just a tick every single day. ⁣

Agency is so important to our Heavenly Father that He allows so many people to use it terribly each and every day. ⁣

It is so so so important that we all choose exactly who we want to be. ⁣

So who am I choosing to be today? Where are my priorities and my heart? ⁣

Do I like the person I’m choosing to be?⁣

Because agency gives me the power to become whoever I’d like to become. ⁣

And… I think I’d like to become just like my Savior.

Happy Studying!

-Cali Black

The post Are you good or bad? first appeared on Come Follow Me Study with Cali Black.

And guess what?

That was all that she needed!

Her body only needed that milk, nothing more.

She had exactly what she needed for her healthy development. ⁣

But then she got a little older. ⁣

She needed to practice and learn how to deal with different textures and tastes. ⁣

Her body didn’t really need this other food, but she needed to prepare and practice for when that would be her only source of nutrition. ⁣

Sometimes she loved the new things she tried; other times, she would spit them back out. ⁣

Then she got even older, to the point that milk alone could no longer support her growing body.

She needed the nutrition from a variety of foods. ⁣

She needed to learn how to feed herself. ⁣

Do we see the parallels in our own gospel growth? ⁣

“I have fed you with milk, and not with meat: for hitherto ye were not able to bear it, neither yet now are ye able.” (1 Corinthians 3:2)

It doesn’t really matter our age, or even if we were raised in the church. ⁣

We’ve gotta start with the basics. ⁣

Just go to church. Read your scriptures. Pray. Serve others when you can. ⁣

And that’s all that we need at first!

That’s what starts to mature us spiritually. ⁣

And then we start taking bites of the heartier meat of the gospel.

Truly studying the scriptures. Learning how to communicate better in prayer. Worshipping in the temple. Serving in a holier way. ⁣

Some of these new bites are hard to handle at first.

But the “milk” concepts are no longer quite cutting it on their own.

We recognize that we need something more in order to continue our spiritual growth. ⁣

The way I prayed when I was 8 years old looks very different than what “prayer” even means to me now.

But I needed that simple step of nice, easy instructions for prayer first.

We start with milk.

And then meat.

Sometimes we need to simplify and recenter ourselves with the basics.

And other times we know we are getting a little too comfortable, and feel a longing to deepen our relationship with Jesus Christ.

Which principle of the gospel are you ready to dive into more today?

Happy Studying!

-Cali Black

The post Milk before meat  first appeared on Come Follow Me Study with Cali Black.

I’d read professional development books.

I totally got into podcasts.

I studied the scriptures a lot and read supplemental materials.

I love learning, I had the time and the mental capacity to do it, and so I did.

Fast forward a few years and three little kids later, and it blows my mind how little time I have for that anymore.

I started a podcast episode that I was super excited to listen to last week, and it took literally all week, listening to 5 or 10 minute portions here and there, to finally finish it.

My scripture study has become much more focused on the essential basics.

I can only read articles on my phone for as long as I have before my baby slaps my phone out of my hands with her newly discovered fingers.

My speed of personal improvement has slowed down so much.

So much to the point that it’s tempting to think, “What’s the point! I’m failing at it all.”

“Your direction is more important than your speed.” -Richard L. Evans

Why were the people in Jerusalem in spiritual trouble?

It wasn’t because they had slowed down the speed of their spiritual progression.

“They hearkened not… and went backward, and not forward.” (Jeremiah 7:24)

They were going in completely the wrong direction.

A step in the right direction, no matter how small, is still a step.

Three verses of scripture read on my phone before zonking out in bed knowing I’ll only have a few hours before a kid wakes me up is a step in the right direction.

Listening to half of a conference talk because I only have 5 minutes in the car is a step in the right direction.

Sending a text to someone when I’ve been meaning to do so much more to serve them is a step in the right direction.

Forward. Not backward.

(Or when I go backward, repenting and taking that little step forward as fast as I can again.)

Always trying to move a little bit closer to the Lord, inch by inch.

Happy Studying!

-Cali Black

The post Forward and backward first appeared on Come Follow Me Study with Cali Black.

Happy Studying!

-Cali Black

The post Becoming more wise first appeared on Come Follow Me Study with Cali Black.