I had a huge concern that would not leave my mind recently.

Every time I would think about it, I would get panicky or sad or frustrated.

So I just tried not to think about it.

I kept pushing it down.

But it kept bubbling up and making me frustrated and overwhelmed all over again at very inconvenient times.

I was on edge.

And I didn’t have any time to deal with it.

Then one night, I couldn’t sleep.

I was feeling in a real funk, so I decided to pull up the scriptures on my phone and start reading a bit.

I honestly could not even tell you which book of scripture I pulled up.

Because as my eyes scanned the words and my finger scrolled, my mind wandered.

It wandered back to my big concern.

But this time, it felt different.

I gave myself permission to just think about it.

I thought about my concerns in detail, I cried over what I was sad about, I logically thought through different options and paths forward.

I formally addressed Heavenly Father every once in a while, but my mind just kept going for the most part.

I just… pondered.

And then I fell asleep.

And the next morning, I felt so… calm.

So content. So peaceful. Even, happy.

It didn’t make sense though.

The concern was technically still there.

I didn’t have a clear answer, an obvious path forward, an elimination of every tough part.

But I truly, deep down, felt content.

“Pondering often precedes contentment.” —Neal A. Maxwell

I believe that with all my heart.

It’s something I can’t really explain very well. It probably doesn’t make sense to the rest of the world.

“Mary kept all these things, and pondered them in her heart.” (Luke 2:19)

Pondering.

Without distraction, in communion with God, inviting the Spirit…

It is powerful.

And pondering has changed my life.

Happy Studying!

-Cali Black

Share:

Facebook
Pinterest
Email
Print

4 Responses

  1. Thanks so much Cali. I’m sure we all have experienced as well these types of moments. We just haven’t recognized until a sweet and humble human like yourself is willing to share. Glory to God that we can experience the fullness of His Grace. Thanks so much Cali.

  2. I’ve had this happen a few times and totally understand how you explained it. It’s amazing how much calmer and peaceful you feel. It isn’t something that’s explainable, it needs to be experienced.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

I accept the Privacy Policy

Keep Studying

Related Posts

I’ve been forgotten 

It’s frustrating when you are going through a trial, and no one seems to offer any help.⁣ I’ve been there. ⁣ It’s rough. ⁣ But

Why don’t you drink? 

“Hey, I’m gonna head inside and grab a beer. Do you want me to grab you one?” I was at a restaurant with some of

Do it on your own 

“You are supposed to be able to handle everything in your life on your own, and if you can’t handle it or need help, you

Behind my back

Someone was talking badly about me being my back. I was in high school. And someone told me about what someone else was saying. And

The failed mission 

Parley. Oliver. Peter. Ziba. ⁣ Heading out on the first mission for the tiny church. ⁣ Heading west, with a strong end goal, but not