Not out of hatred, or disgust, or annoyance. ⁣

But out of love. ⁣

“I… had loved them, according to the love of God which was in me, with all my heart;⁣

“And my soul had been poured out in prayer unto my God all the day long for them.” (Mormon 3:12)⁣

Mormon literally gives us a little masterclass in setting healthy boundaries. ⁣

He loved his people so much. And he loved God so much. And he probably loved himself and his family, too. ⁣

And with that love in his heart, he had to say no. ⁣

Saying “no” isn’t bad. It isn’t a sin. (Sometimes we need that reminder, right?!)⁣

Saying “no” because you want to hurt someone, or you don’t care about their situation… that’s not great. ⁣

Saying “no” because you love someone, and need to protect your own inner peace (or maybe even your life) is amazing and necessary. ⁣

BUT THEN skip ahead to Mormon chapter 5. Verse 1. ⁣

13 or so years later, Mormon says that he will lead them again. ⁣

He changes his promise (or “repents of the oath”) and returns to his position as military commander. ⁣

What was his mindset like now?⁣

“I was without hope, for I knew the judgments of the Lord which should come upon them”. (Mormon 5:2)⁣

While this sounds a little despondent, I actually see a leader who has now set realistic expectations for how he will interact with his troops, who are probably many of his dear friends. ⁣

He knows that destruction is imminent. ⁣

And yet, his love has now brought him to want to lead again, to at least give them a fighting chance, and to fulfill his duty.

Maybe he even felt “called” to do this now. ⁣

Such a cool pattern, right?!⁣

He felt so much love that he had to say “no” for a while. ⁣

And then he felt so much love, adjusted his expectations, and decided he was ready to say, “yes”!⁣

We can set boundaries in love, and we can change boundaries later, still out of love.

Listening to, above all else, the Spirit’s whisperings in learning the best way in that exact moment to know how to show Christlike love to all.

Happy Studying!

-Cali Black

The post Mormon refused first appeared on Come Follow Me Study with Cali Black.

Do you remember anything that someone told you when you were 10 years old?

If you do, it’s probably something pretty important or impactful.

This makes me think of quite a few church lessons I received in my youth that focused on spiritual gifts.

The teacher would often ask each of us to write down or tell each other the spiritual gifts we recognized in them.

Such a sweet idea, by the way.

The only hitch was that I’ve always been pretty musically talented.

So every time I was part of one of these lessons or activities, the messages my friends would write to me would all be fairly similar:

“You are so musically talented!”

Don’t get me wrong, I am so grateful for my talents.

But as a teen, I also always wondered what my SPIRITUAL gifts were.

I knew there was more to me than just my musical gifts.

It wasn’t until an activity at a Young Women camp where I had a leader write a little note to me:

“Cali, I love that for every activity this week, you’ve made sure that everyone was included. You have such a gift for helping others not feel left out.”

I remember that note and that sweet leader to this day.

I’m not sure exactly what Ammaron and Mormon’s relationship was like. ⁣

But I know that Ammaron told young, 10-year-old Mormon that he was, “. . . a sober child, and. . . quick to observe.” ⁣

And Mormon said: “I remembered the things which Ammaron commanded me.” (Mormon 1:2,5) 

And then Mormon wrote Ammaron’s compliment and commandment down, AT LEAST 14 years later.

Sometimes, it’s really hard to recognize our own spiritual gifts. ⁣

But I think it’s actually pretty easy to see the spiritual gifts that others have. ⁣

If you want to make a huge impact on someone’s life right now, tell them the spiritual gifts and talents that you see in them.

They might just remember it for the rest of their lives.

Happy Studying!

-Cali Black

The post Remembered 14 years later first appeared on Come Follow Me Study with Cali Black.

There he is, watching the demise of his people, and rewriting the records from hundreds of years of Nephite history. ⁣

Mormon has the gift of wisdom, and while he does a great job at narrating the events from the plates, he can’t help but interject his own lessons throughout his abridgment. ⁣

And what’s that famous phrase that signals us that Mormon is about to teach a lesson?⁣

“And thus we see…”⁣

(Sometimes, “thus we can behold…”)⁣

He switches from story-telling to spiritual commentary. ⁣

He takes a time out from telling us about who was the chief judge and who was murdered and who was baptized…⁣

And instead focuses on the lesson to learn. ⁣

“And thus we see that except the Lord doth chasten his people with many afflictions, yea, except he doth visit them with death and with terror, and with famine and with all manner of pestilence, they will not remember him.” -Helaman 12:3⁣

Mormon is a great example at using BOTH storytelling and explicit teaching in order to get a point across. ⁣

I think it can be easy to think that by living a pretty righteous life, our kids will catch on. ⁣

Don’t get me wrong, setting the right example is probably the most important element in teaching the gospel to our kids.

But it’s not the only element. ⁣

We also need to explicitly teach gospel principles to our children. ⁣

In family nights, studying Come Follow Me, and other home-centered gospel learning, there are so many chances to do some straightforward teaching.

And not always in formal settings either!

Mormon beautifully weaved his “thus we see..” observations throughout his summaries. ⁣

So when my kid sees a church building out of the car window and yells, “church!”, I can take that moment to teach them about why I love church and how happy it makes me. ⁣

I can’t be afraid to teach. Or even hesitant to teach. ⁣

I HAVE to be explicit. I have to point out the spiritual lessons in real-time as much as I can. ⁣

Because we truly need both: the examples and stories, and the Godly principles being boldly proclaimed.

Happy Studying!

-Cali Black

The post And thus we see…  first appeared on Come Follow Me Study with Cali Black.

What a terrifying time.

Absolutely everything was changing, and he didn’t know what would happen next for sure. ⁣

But he was still compiling the plates. ⁣

It seemed a little redundant to include the small plates with the large plates he had abridged, but he felt like he should do it, so he did. ⁣

Mormon probably felt in varying doses: loneliness, confusion, fear, and uncertainty for the end of his people. ⁣

And yet he shows a beautiful example of true faith in God. ⁣

“And I do this for a wise purpose; for thus it whispereth me, according to the workings of the Spirit of the Lord which is in me. And now, I do not know all things; but the Lord knoweth all things which are to come; wherefore, he worketh in me to do according to his will.” (Words of Mormon 1:7)

He follows through on every single prompting he receives because he knows that the Lord is in control. ⁣

And that’s where true peace can be found. ⁣

I have felt similar feelings when I know change is ahead in my life.

Sometimes, I give into the fear of the unknown, my mind tunneling through every possibility.

… and other times I give it all to God. ⁣

Acknowledge that I have NO clue what is going to happen – but God does.

And if I just listen to the little promptings and then act on those little promptings, I feel peace. ⁣

Faith and fear don’t live together very well.

So, to cast out fear of the unknown, we can learn from Mormon to tune into the little promptings, act on them, and grow our faith to give God the rest of the control.

Happy Studying!

-Cali Black

The post Fear and faith and Mormon  first appeared on Come Follow Me Study with Cali Black.

Mormon had just finished telling his son Moroni about the terrible things that were going on with the Lamanites and Nephites, and what tragic futures were to come.

But then he reminds his son:

Don’t let these things weigh you down.

Don’t let the evils of others bring your spirit and your faith down.

Don’t let the wickedness of the world dim your light.

Don’t let other people’s poor decisions linger in your mind.

And instead?

Let Christ lift you up.

Let your knowledge of His atoning sacrifice bring you hope.

Let His mercy linger in your mind.

Let His goodness be a powerful example to you.

What a lesson right?

Sometimes, I wish that I didn’t tie so many of my posts into “2020”. But at the end of the day, I can’t ignore the similarities between the end of the Book of Mormon and our current reality.

There is a lot of evil around us.

There are people with ill-intentions.

There are people making terrible decisions that affect us.

And yet, knowing that Christ has already atoned for our sins makes the weight much less heavy.

Because – Christ has already won. He has won victory over sin, over weaknesses, and over death.

And that knowledge can lift us up, even when we are surrounded by the most unpleasant of circumstances.

Happy Studying!

-Cali Black

The post Weighed down and lifted up first appeared on Come Follow Me Study with Cali Black.

It’s still weird to me that I gave birth this year.

Going into labor can be scary.

Having severe abdominal attacks a few months later can be scary.

Going in for emergency surgery without anyone allowed to be with you can be scary.

An unexpected 3-day hospital stay while your breastfed infant is at home can be scary.

Handing your little baby over to be put under anesthesia for an MRI can be scary.

Scheduling an appointment with a pediatric specialist can be scary.

Thinking of your baby’s different future can be scary.

And add that on top of what everyone else has also experienced, with general health scares, political unrest, and social issues…

When I write it all down, it seems bad. Truly frightening.

But can I be honest?

While the opportunities for fear have surrounded me, I feel like I’ve had a pretty peaceful year.

It’s been a year of stretching and growth. A year of new perspectives and refined priorities.

But not a year of fear.

To be clear, I don’t say that with a sense of pride or superiority.

In fact, I am well aware that this is a special spiritual gift that I have, and I have been specifically told that.

But those few moments when I have felt that fear start to creep up, in that moment where I sat in a waiting room by myself as they carried my baby away, I turned to my Father in Heaven.

In humility, in meekness. In love.

Loving my Heavenly Father is what cast out those little inklings of fear.

Loving my Savior is what transformed my fear to peace and confidence.

I’m not perfect at it, but when I have been in my most desperate times, I have had moments of pure and perfect love. Pure and perfect devotion to the Divine.

And I have found for myself that these moments of true, pure, perfect love for Heaven have cast out my fear.

Happy Studying!

-Cali Black

The post Casting out fear first appeared on Come Follow Me Study with Cali Black.

Never fails… whom?

I’ve been pondering on that this week.

And I really think that charity never fails US.

I think most of us can recite that “charity is the pure love of Christ”.

But then I hope I’m not alone in often picturing charity as an action. Reaching out. Making a call. Pulling weeds. Making beds. Being a listening ear.

(Which are all amazing actions to take, of course!)

But I think it’s important to remember that charity is actually just a feeling.

In fact, according to the Bible Dictionary, charity is “the highest, noblest, strongest kind of love”.

In the scriptures, the word “charity” is never even used to refer to good deeds.

Instead, it is an emotion we feel inside of ourselves.

It can totally be the motivating factor for us to then reach out and perform acts of service for other people!

But charity is love.

Feeling love NEVER fails US.

I clarify “US” because our acts of service can certainly fail other people.

I may think I’m being a fantastic ministering sister, while someone complains that I don’t fulfill my assignment very well.

I may think I’m being a helpful volunteer, while someone thinks that I’m wasting my time.

I may think I’m being thoughtful, while someone thinks I’m being overbearing.

I can’t control how the pure love that I feel in my heart is then perceived by other people. (Of course, tact and sensitivity are always qualities I strive for, too! But at the end of the day, I can only do my best.)

But the Godly love that I try to cultivate can change me. It can save me.

What a timely message, right?!

The more love we feel for other people, the more Christlike we become. Because He loves everyone, too.

Everything else will fail in the end.

But feeling a deep love, a love that is kind, patient, and humble… THAT will sustain us through everything.

Happy Studying!

-Cali Black

The post Highest, Noblest, and Strongest Love first appeared on Come Follow Me Study with Cali Black.

I’ve got a lot of hopes.

Things that I would love to have happen in the future.

But Mormon is just a rockstar for pointing us in the right direction with our true hope.

Although we hope people will get better, viruses will be eradicated, others will forgive, circumstances will improve, and love will grow…

When it comes to our most essential, godly hope, we can’t look to things in this lifetime.

And think about the men who are teaching this.

Both Mormon who spoke these words, and Moroni who wrote them down years later as words he hoped would be of great worth to us.

Their hopes for improving circumstances, healing, and softened hearts were virtually unanswered.

But both Mormon and Moroni stamp their powerful testimony of where our hope should be.

We have hope that, because of Christ’s atoning sacrifice, we will be raised to eternal life in the next life as a result of our good desires and actions.

We have hope that our righteous desires and unseen acts of service will be rewarded with eternal life.

We have hope that our trials and hardships are only trials from a mortal standpoint.

We have hope that the relationships we develop here on earth do not end at death.

We have hope that we will be able to live with our Heavenly Father and our Savior.

What a truly hopeful message!

Although we may be disappointed, maybe even often, with our earthly hopes, Mormon gives us that beautiful reframe:

Our hope is in the promises given to us about what we can expect in the next life.

Happy Studying!

-Cali Black

The post I hope! first appeared on Come Follow Me Study with Cali Black.

Here’s what I mean –

Shortly after Kyle and I were married, we moved wards, and I was called as Ward Choir Director.

We were brand new in the ward, and I remember the member of the bishopric kind of laughing as he extended the calling and saying, “You are probably feeling very under-qualified and overwhelmed by this call, but I know the Lord will help you fulfill it.”

And I sighed a bit as I shared just a short list of my musical background and assured him I felt just fine accepting the calling.

The truth was, though, I was disappointed in the calling.

I wanted to be able to teach the gospel. To be in Young Women’s, or Primary. To interact with other strong women and create goodness together. To plan fun events and learn gospel principles together. To make friends in this new ward.

Not to beg people to come to choir practice all by myself.

But I fulfilled the duties that were outlined in my calling.

I did them grudgingly, but I did them. The choir rehearsed and performed on schedule. The songs sounded pretty good. We grew our participation numbers.

But I had such a prideful attitude about it.

After a full year of this calling, General Conference rolled around. And sure enough, there was a talk about serving with real intent in our hearts.

Some pride in my heart started to soften as I realized that I had been “serving” by fulfilling my checklist duties, but my heart was not being fed or changed by my service.

I knew I needed to make a dramatic change in order to root out the pride and anger. I wanted to become more Christlike, but I wasn’t quite sure how.

So I thought, “How can I be the best Choir Director I could possibly be?!”

And then I got to work.

I had that calling for another year and a half, and I found true joy in it. I made good friends who were choir members and accompanists. I was overcome with the Spirit while conducting performances of a simple 8-person, 2-part choir.

I finally felt like I was serving my ward members, and I finally felt like I was serving the Lord.

I’m really good at tricking my mind into thinking that if I just go through the actions, I’m doing what’s required of me.

But nothing counts as much as the intent.

Are we serving, giving, loving with pure intent in our hearts? Or are we doing it grudgingly?

After 2 1/2 transformative years in that calling, we moved. I was grateful for the lesson I had learned, and was ready to jump into a new calling in my new ward “all in”, with pure intent.

My new calling in my new ward?

Ward Choir Director.

Happy Studying!

-Cali Black

The post Ward Choir Director first appeared on Come Follow Me Study with Cali Black.

Happy Studying!

-Cali Black

The post Becoming more wise first appeared on Come Follow Me Study with Cali Black.